the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
