Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
