he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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