Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
