she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
