How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
