last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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