Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
