She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize