HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
