it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
