I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
