is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
