He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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