**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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