i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Girls should come with a carfax report
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
