i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
