There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
