i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
