Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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