TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
