If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
