her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
