Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
