dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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