38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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