brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize