GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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