Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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