is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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