I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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