community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
