We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
