I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
