I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
