Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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