susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize