I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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