I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
