I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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