she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
