I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
