I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
