Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
