he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
