seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
