would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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