i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize