At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize