I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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