The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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