i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
