'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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