You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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