After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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