Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
