Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
