He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
