Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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