Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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